threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
