I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
