i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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