He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
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