What a fucking waste of an outfit
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
