Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
