That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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