What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
