From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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