So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
