Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
