he shaved USA in his pubs
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
