Old men and throwing up are my life now.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it glows. i had to have it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
