If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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