I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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