dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
