she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
