the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
