One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
