please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
