No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
