im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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