The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
