Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
