I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
