they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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