You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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