real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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