if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize