Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
His nipple licking is glorious
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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