He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
