Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Randomize
