No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
as a side note pls kill me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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