I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
