hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Enjoy the penises
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
