I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
