You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
