Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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