Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
