wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
