is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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