Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I got inside last night via doggy door
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize