Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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