I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
