haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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