the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
North Korea, Best Korea!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
