i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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