Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
