I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
