I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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