obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Randomize
