You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
