sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
