Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
