the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
