I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
