I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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