I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
