2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Randomize
