ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
