dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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