one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is it penis luge time yet?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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