she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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