Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
should my penis look like a turkey
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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