And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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